The In-Between

Hi! My name is Sabrina, I’m 23 years old and I was born with Pfeiffer Syndrome (Type 1) as well as a congenital heart defect. I have had 21 surgeries. I'm currently in my 3^rd year in university, majoring in Health Psychology. I have been with CCA since I was 16 years old and I've enjoyed every second of it! Writing is one of my passions so I'm very excited to be a part of the CCAKids Blog! 

As I sit at my desk, take a look around my room and see my two cats sleeping on my bed, I can’t help but smile. It’s been quite the journey and it’s not over yet...

This school year started off very differently. Instead of moving into a dorm room, I was already all unpacked and settled in my one-bedroom apartment. Funny how, even though I was glad not to be in rez anymore, I still couldn’t help but take a walk to campus on ‘moving day’ to see all the new students. It was such a weird feeling to watch from afar, parents and students unloading their cars and bringing boxes into their rez building. Not too long ago, that was me...

I never anticipated how different things would be, living off campus. Sure, there’s more freedom and I get to have cats... but the biggest thing is; it feels like I’m ‘home’. I now realize why I was never really happy in rez. It just never felt like ‘home’. It’s hard living somewhere for 8 months where you feel like it’s just a temporary place, like you can’t get too comfortable, because before you know it... you’ll be moving out again.  – Don’t get me wrong, there are advantages to living in rez, but for me personally, I just never felt like I could ‘settle in’ and truly be happy there. I guess it’s because all my life, I had always lived at home and gone to school. I liked the feeling of coming home after a long day at school. I never got that feeling when I was living in rez.

Alyson and I at BU graduation. It'll be my turn in 2014!

Another big change is not having my best friend Alyson here. We met in our first year at BU, she lived just down the hall from me. I remember walking by her dorm and thinking ‘hmm, I wonder who lives in this room”... little did I know, that this person would become my best friend and amazing roommate. We went through everything together. When she graduated in May, it was bittersweet. I was so happy for her and so proud; but at the same time, I was sad knowing she wouldn't be back this year. She’s off in the real world now and I’m still here, continuing my long journey at BU. (Luckily we have texting and Skype to keep in touch!)

Watching your friends graduate, makes you think of your own time-line and where you should be in life. It’s hard not to compare yourself to others, thinking “I should be on that stage with them, I should be done university now too”. Part of me wishes I could say: “this is my LAST year in University! Yay!” But that is not the case. If all goes well, then I’ll be graduating in May, 2014. Some of you might be thinking “well that’s not too bad, it’ll go by fast!” – but since I started this journey in 2009, sometimes it seems like I've been here forever.

I tell myself to try to stay focused. This is MY journey... no one else’s. Living in my apartment, I am constantly reminded that I am on my own. It feels liberating, choosing my path in life, doing what I want to do. I started off the school year better than ever... I bought my textbooks in August and read ahead. I am truly determined to stay on top of things this time. What’s changed? I now have a future plan. I know where I want to go after Bishop’s... and I cannot wait! I’m sure some of you wondering “okay so where are you going?” – well I won’t say yet. Only my closest friends and family know my next step. I won’t say it yet because I feel like I’ll be jinxing it somehow.

Life has no guarantees. Who knows what’ll happen after I graduate? At least I know where I WANT to be and I will work hard to get there. The beauty is that I still have some time before then. This is my in-between year. While part of me is anxious to get out of here, the other part of me wants to enjoy this stage of my life, where it feels safe. Everything is calm at the moment and I’m happy right where I am (and with my 2 adorable cats who give me so much love!). It is weird knowing that when I move out of this apartment... I’ll be going off into the real world...

I don’t know what this school year will bring, but I do hope that it will be my most successful year yet. I’m excited for 2013 because I’ll be a bridesmaid in 2 weddings!!! I feel so blessed to have such loving friends and family who have asked me to be a part of their special day. Love you girls! :)   

So BU 2012-2013... bring it on!! I’m ready for this.

Guest Blogger Sabrina Robineau wrote this piece anticipating the beginning of the college academic year 2012-2013.