Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Scholarships Available for Illinois Craniofacial Patients


 

The Face the Future Foundation is offering grants to individuals with facial differences to help them receive a college education. The $5,000 scholarship deadline is October 31st and is open to prospective college students in the Chicago, IL area. To learn more, go to the Face the Future Foundation website to read the eligibility requirements, learn more about the organization, and this scholarship opportunity. Best of luck to all whom apply.

https://www.facethefuturefoundation.org/scholarship


Monday, September 20, 2021

Christine's Advice on Coping and Dealing with Grief and Mental Health

  By Christine Clinton



When I was a little girl growing up, the thought about losing a parent, or a loved one, never really crossed my mind. When I was six years old, my grandfather passed away; but I never understood the true meaning of death, or grief. Then, when I was twelve years old, my great-grandmother passed away. As I got older, I understood a lot more about death, and grieving the loss of a loved one. When I was 21, my grandmother passed away, and being in my early 20’s, I grieved my grandmother a little more than I did my grandfather, and my great-grandmother, because I was closer to my grandmother, and older. I have experienced the death of so many other loved ones in my life, and while I have experienced grief with each of the losses, the death of my father has been the worst for me. My dad passed away on May 25th, 2016. I had turned 40 years old in January of that year, and I had always thought that I would have my parents with me forever, although I knew death is inevitable. While my dad and I didn’t always get along, or see eye-to-eye, we both knew that we loved each other, and that was so important.

My dad always put his family first. His greatest joy was to see his family happy. He was always there for me, for every doctor’s appointment, hospitalization, and surgical procedure. Whenever I had any of my doctor’s appointments, he would make sure that he was home from work in enough time to take a shower. and get my mom and I to whatever appointments that I had. Whenever I was in the hospital, he would come home from work, come to see me in the hospital with my mom, and then leave to go home sometimes eleven o’clock or twelve o’clock at night. When I had my jaw surgery, he would bring my mom to my cousin’s house before he went to work. He would come to see me in the hospital after he got home from work, and then would go home with my mom late at night. He was always so happy, whenever I was happy. He never worried about himself, instead, he worried more about his family. My dad was a very hard worker, and while we had some struggles, we always made the best of whatever we had. He has three grandchildren, my nephews, who love and miss their grandfather very much.

Having a strong family connection and dynamic is so very important, but it is more important to someone like myself who has a facial difference. I don’t have a family of my own since I am not married, and I don’t have my own children. Having both of my parents when I was growing up, and as I got older, is so very important. I would love to have a family of my own, but I have struggled with that, and so I’ve come to accept my life as it is.

Since my dad’s passing, I have been trying to find some peace, and to come to terms with his death. Losing a loved one, or a parent, is never an easy task. Grief is so different, and each person grieves their own specific way. There shouldn’t be a timetable for grief, and no one should tell anyone how they should grieve, or for how long. I have a former acquaintance who told me that I shouldn’t be talking about my dad, or thinking about my dad; that I shouldn’t be grieving my dad. She said I had to live more of my life, and grieve my dad less. This hurt me so deeply. I’ve never forgotten that comment. We all grieve differently, and we all have different losses in our lives. No one should ever be made to feel like their grief, or their loss, doesn’t matter, or that they shouldn’t be feeling whatever they are feeling. We all have a right to our grief, and we all have a right to each experience a loss in our own very unique ways.

We could truly improve society so much if we removed the stigma around depression, grief, and especially mental health. It seems no one wants to talk about these things, because it is uncomfortable to talk about these things.

Fred Rogers from Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, has a very important quote. He has said, “whatever is mentionable, can be manageable.” He mainly talks about children talking to their parents, or a trusted adult about their emotions and feelings, or whatever the case might be; but it is also some very good advice for adults too. I think if more people knew more about depression, grief, and mental illness, and talked about it more, the folks dealing with it wouldn’t have to feel so alone with dealing with it.

We all need to be able to talk about how we feel. If we are able to talk about the things that are important to us, if we can make the things that are important to us mentionable, then we’ll be able to better manage our emotions and feelings. Adults, and children alike should have a trusted adult, or friend, that they can feel comfortable enough with being able to talk to; we all need someone in our lives who we can trust and turn to with our deepest feelings.

In conclusion, if we were all able to express our emotions and feelings, and be able to talk about our grief and our mental health with those whom we are able to trust, and if whatever we feel is mentionable, can be more manageable, we would be living in a much gentler, kinder, and loving society. Reach out to those who are struggling emotionally, or with their grief, and mental health. You would be very pleasantly surprised how much people will share with you, if only someone would listen to them.

Monday, September 6, 2021

Ask The Adaptive Athlete Returns With Rugby Player David Garcia



This story appeared in our 2020 CCA E-Network. David Garcia had just graduated from Brown University with a doctorate in chemistry. His next challenge was to start training for the 2024 Paralympic games as a rugby player. Read his story here reposted for your inspiration during CAM2021. 

 

“Adapt...persevere: because you are limitless.”


David Garcia, newly-minted doctor of chemistry from Brown University, is here to remind you that anything and everything is possible. He believes he holds the “blueprint of success for people with disabilities.” He challenges us and asks, “What is your excuse?”


David was born with Moebius syndrome, partial upper limbs, and no feet. He is the oldest of five born into a first-generation, Colombian immigrant family, living in New Jersey.  In his own words, nothing has ever held him back. In May 2020, he successfully defended his Ph.D. thesis in chemistry. Next up, he is training for the 2024 Paralympics. 


Life became easier for David once he accepted his body. There were moments of doubt, and plenty of questions from others like “what is wrong with your feet and hands?” David says, he “remembers the moment when the universe presented him with two options: to be consumed with self-pity or the second, to face my reality, accept my disability with all its challenges and refuse to be defeated.” Through the encouragement of lived experiences and a loving family he continues to preserve, to take every moment of adversity as an opportunity to grow. 


At age five, while surrounded by the bright lights and sharp tools in the operating room, enduring surgeries to improve the function of his eyes, mouth, and left hand, David realized that his “life was extraordinary” and he “had to be brave in the face of adversity.” 


He says, “Those surgeries, without a doubt, made me stronger and provided me with the courage to accept my reality.” 


As a child and teen, David says, “Every single step was a struggle. From the moment I could walk with my little prosthetics every step was a fight, a fight I learned to embrace.” He also struggled to accept his appearance. One day while putting on his prosthetics, he told himself “in order to play futbol, run, and have fun, I would have to put on my prosthetics everyday for the rest of my life.” While David has never looked back, each day was a struggle he had to overcome, mentally and physically. 


As early as elementary school and middle school David refused to be treated differently and rejected help from well-intentioned occupational and physical therapists. David says, “I taught myself to write with two hands, play fĂștbol with prosthetics, and perform in a band with soul.” During a trip to the beach as a child, he fondly remembers his mother telling him, “‘Davidcito, take off your prosthetics, enjoy your life, and jump into the water! Who cares if people stare at you?” Ultimately, she was right… “No one cares... but at that age it was difficult for me to share the same vision,” he recounts.


Now he can look back and realize these were seminal moments in his life. He muses, “I still feel insecure about my disability. Today, the difference is that I have learned to express self-love and embrace all my imperfections unapologetically. I have learned through self-reflection that my limb difference is not a weakness, but rather a shield that has given me the strength to forge my own path. I have learned that I am limitless.”


Today, David trains four to five times a week for one and half to two hours varying his workouts, alternating among the many muscle groups throughout the body with special attention to chest, biceps, triceps, shoulders, and abdominals. He begins with a lengthy warm up that includes stretching, 50 pushups, 10 pull ups, and 5 to 10 minutes of cardio. He concludes with more cardio and stretching after focusing on that day’s strength training.


For those interested in starting or continuing an exercise routine, David encourages that you define your goal by asking yourself “What am I looking to achieve? Then, once that is decided, you develop a fitness and nutritional plan that works for your body. The most important thing is to stick with your plan and see it through till you meet your goal.” 


Commitment to the cause is vital in this adaptive athlete’s opinion. A big piece of motivation may come from your past, remembering what you went through and overcame as a child. David says he was “empowered by my past successes, I never give up and [I] stay true to my vision. I remember the challenges I overcame, learning how to write with a pencil, learning how to shoot a basketball, learning how to ride a bike.” All of these successes were possible because he chose to adapt and persevere.

As you can see, in order to excel and work out at an elite level, a bulletproof mindset is required. David’s focus on how to adapt and preserve to meet his physical fitness goals also helped his mind become more nimble, too. Choosing to lift weights, play rugby, and just move is a powerful outlet for feelings of insecurity and powerlessness.  


“Exercising was always the key to keeping my stress and anxiety levels low. In fact, the less I exercised the more disordered my life was, and the more anxious I felt. So overall, exercise is crucial for maintaining my mind at equilibrium.” 


His next challenge will be training for the 2024 Paralympic Games as a wheelchair rugby player. He was recruited by his home country of Colombia to participate and compete for an olympic medal. David says he looks “forward to representing Colombia in the Paralympics and in the International World Cup tournaments during the next 4 years.” In between workouts, and rugby practice, David is pursuing motivational speaking and modeling in order to share his story with a broader audience. David also supports Positive Exposure, a New York-based nonprofit founded by award-winning photographer Rick Guidotti, that “is committed to creating opportunities to empower, support and embrace our disability community as well as all individuals and communities at risk of stigma, discrimination and exclusion.” As a member of the action committee, he is a living ambassador of their motto, “Change how you see, see how you change.”


Read more about David Garcia, his journey to acceptance, and why he wants to share his Moebius syndrome story with us on the blog at http://www.ccakidsblog.org/search?q=david+garcia (https://tinyurl.com/y9yqxly6)

Please follow David on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube at @davidgarcialimitless.