We are just about 10 months into this new life as first-time parents, and parents of a medically challenging/CCA child!
As any parent, especially first time parents...second guessing EVERYTHING seems to be a norm. From food intake, to poop schedules to pediatricians and specialty surgeons, many days I wonder how I do not have an ulcer yet.
However, there is one thing I have never second guessed, and that is Mary Cate being born to us!
I can remember in those early days, the hundreds of emails, texts and phone calls..everyone had the same message. "God could not have picked two better people for her to be born to." or "God only chooses special parents for special children" I knew this, but this was not the easiest information to digest early on. I can clearly remember telling my mom one day, "If one more person tells me that she was born to us 'for a reason' or 'because we can handle it better than others' I will LOSE it. Why are WE the special ones? They are special too?"
Though I knew deep down that MC chose us for a reason, it has taken a while to look back upon my life and fully realize that FATE truly brought us together.
I have spent many nights awake thinking back over the last 32 years of my life, and truly believe all that has happened has done so, to lead to this. My family, my friends, my relationships, work choices, nursing degree, living and traveling abroad. Every life experience has shaped me, in order to make the life of Mary Cate...fabulous!
This is not to say that I do not have weak moments times when I lay in bed crying for hours, times when I am frustrated, angry and want to run away.
The night she was born my main concern was how I would get out of bed to 'run-away', but I never thought of running away from my loves. I wanted to wake up Chris, "steal" Mary Cate out of the NICU, hail a cab to O'Hare, and catch a flight to the Caymen Islands where we could live happily ever after....(for those who know me, you will find the whole Caymen Islands part pretty hilarious, since I am a fair-skinned, red-head who avoids the beach and the sun at all costs)! :)
Thankfully I was still numb from a c section that night and couldn't get out of bed, because ever since then, I clearly see why she is here, why fate brought us together.
Our life is SO incredibly enriched, I see everything in a whole different light, I have new respect for people and for life. I work harder, play harder, live more fully and love more deeply.
Nearly 15,000 people from 35 different countries have visited the website and blog that I set up for MC...to me that is 15,000 more people in this world that are now educated on Apert Syndrome, and just a minuscule part of the reason I believe that fate brought us together.
As parents of Craniofacial children, we know there is nothing we did do, or didn't do, no way we could have changed our fate...we were meant to be their parents, and we have to do or best to master our fate to make their lives the best it can be!